Chronic Insomnia

Join us for the only comics podcast documented to have caused a minor infarction!  Ryan Skypes in from Bismarck - can long distance relationships work?  Tune in and find out!

Nemesis’ enemy remains anonymous and $8,400 poorer, JMS teases his Project Manhattan, and Billy Joel takes the wheel of your Diamond truck in this week’s news!  It’s not all bad, though…Ryan scores in Fargo, more guaranteed money makers in Market Spotlight, and this just in - Kristin Kreuk is exquisite.

Will the Chronic Boys figure out Skype before Ryan gives up completely?  What kind of DNA is Ryan spreading across the hotel sheets of America?  How many states has Ryan used “The Stranger” on himself?  All these things and more on this weeks explosively terrible episode of Chronic Insomnia.

Next week we return with our more usual nonsense, and until then, hit wwww.wheremonstersdwell.ca and see how a real radio is show is conducted!

As always, we love the all of you.

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The worlds most insane comic book podcast.

Is Ryan menstrating this week?  Has Ryan ever menstrated…well that’s a little less clear.

Do we honestly have a clue as to what we are talking about this week?  Well that’s debatable.  All we know is that we are completely off the rails this week and you’re in for one hell of an interesting ride.

Also make sure to check out our good friends at Where Monsters Dwell and of course go read our Eisner Nominated Blog, it’s chock full of goodies and reviews.

On a totally unrelated note, is Kristin Kreuk on “Chuck” now?  If she is, well that’s another good reason to watch the show.

As always, we love the all of you.

The Chronic Crew

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Join us this week as we welcome Mike and Remy from Where Monsters Dwell into our “Nerds of the Round Table” discussion.  Listen as we talk about what Marvel is doing to find out DC’s actual sales this last year.  Do we like what Marvel is doing?  Well tune in to find out.

Ryan talks about his wonderful ability to mimic just about anything when we analyze last weeks show for each of his majestic impersonations.  Is Ryan the only one with a giant schlong?

Check out our friends at Where Monsters Dwell.  Also if you like to read instead of listening to the show, please check out our Eisner Nominated Blog.  As always, we love the all of you.

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Chronic Insomnia - The Worlds Worst Comic Book Podcast Presents:

90 minutes of Chronic Insomnia?  Holy crap, what were we thinking?  In this weeks show Ryan and Mike discuss the very nature of the universe as it relates to Comic Books.  Well it’s either that or we talk about bodily functions again.  I really can’t remember.

Has Mike from WMD become a member of the dark side?  Ryan and Mike explain how his training in nearly complete.  Once down the path of the dark side, forever will Chronic Insomnia, dominate your destiny.

We have breaking news about Spiderman 4 along with special audio from one of our extremely hands on fans, “Miracle” Keith.  It’s a fun show all around with plenty of comic book dissection.

Tune in next week as Ryan phones in from Bismark, North Dakota and Mike is in the studio by himself.  Will he find a friend to be on the air with?  Tune in to find out.  We’re taking applications for a co-host as of now.

As always makes sure to check out our friends at Where Monsters Dwell and make sure to read our critically acclaimed blog.  If you live in Minneapolis, make sure to check out Chris Hardwick at the ACME Comedy Club Tues, Weds, Thurs, Fri at 8pm and Saturday at 8pm and 10:30pm.

We love the all of you!

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Chronic Insomnia - The worlds most insane comic book podcast.  Saving the world, one poop joke at a time.

This week on Chronic Insomnia we find out how much sleep Ryan hasn’t gotten in the past three days.  We also learn why your credit report might not be as interesting as we think it is.  Was “Jennifer’s Body” a better movie than the trailers lead us to believe?  Is Megan Fox still attractive?

What were the top five books of 2009?  We really don’t know, but someone smarter than us has come with a list of the top 100 books and we read off the top five.

The final tally for “Man Among Men in 2010″ is in.  Red Shirt Ryan and Mike bring this exciting contest down the wire as the year ends.  Do we have predictions for the upcoming year?  Well not really, but we’ve still got full control of our bladders, so somethings going right for us.

Check out our good friends, Where Monsters Dwell and see how a real comic book show is done.  Also check out our critically acclaimed comic book blog.  If you’d like to hear older shows from Chronic Insomnia, or are having trouble with the current site, please check out our alternative site here.

As always, We love the all of you.

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Close out the old and bring in the new year with the World’s Most Absurd Comic Book Podcast!  As usual, the Chronic Crew eschews common decency, common sense, and proper formatting in order to bring you something vaguely interesting instead.  It’s worked for 120 episodes.  We thought we’d try it again.

So rather than recount the best and worst that the world of comics had to offer this year, we instead decided to bring you important information like Ryan’s most embarrassing moment of EVER.  Pretty sure we cover the subject of plastic chairs contacting the human testicle in a scientific fashion as well.

A particularly surprising winner of the “Kate Beckinsale Picture” contest is revealed, and final proof of America’s hopelessly backward sexual typing is offered.  If I’m not mistaken, there’s at least 4 minutes of our usual Gail Simone boot licking and a tiny preview of comics to anticipate in 2010.  But mostly this is a far too personal trip down memory lane sprinkled with obscure songs that Quincy and Ryan like.

Retailers note:  this is a perfect jumping on point for new listeners!  You won’t need to listen to any crossover podcasts to understand the main event, but it will enrich your experience to hear Where Monsters Dwell, too!  Chronic Insomnia will never be the same after this senses shattering episode!  And as always, we love the all of you!

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Grab that yule log like you mean it and tickle those chestnuts…it’s time for the Chronic Insomnia Christmas Special!   Not to be too spoilerific, but this episode features Santa Claus, some elves, Grant Morrison, The Chronic Boys, Tiger Woods, one tranvestite hooker, two murders, one accidental death, Remy’s christmas presents, and just about every bodily fluid in the medical pantheon!  You’re welcome!

Oh, yeah….we did some comic book stuff, too: Details on J.M. Straczynski’s upcoming dream project at D.C., and why all comic book collectors are nothing more than battered house wives!

Diamond isn’t shipping anything next week, but spin the cast and find out how you can still get your NEW comic fix next week if you live near the City That God Forgot!

Check out our Blog and our friends here at Where Monsters Dwell.

As always, we love the all of you - thanks to everyone who shared a wonderful 2009 with us this year!

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Issue # 900  Chronic Insomnias Greatest Hits 2009.  The following show is filled with previously released bits, skits and songs from 2009.  Enjoy this stroll down memory lane with us and get your fix of Chronic Insomnia at the same time.  Stay tuned for next week when we release our Christmas Special 2009.

Breaking News! - Check out our blog and see what’s up with the Chronic boys.  You can also check out why Ryan thinks Christmas Sucks!

#1  Pee Promo We broadcast together, feed each other finger sandwiches…and we pee together.  Play your friends this promo, please.  They’ll either run straight toward us or away from you screaming.

#2  17 Inch Penis When Mike needs help with a pickle jar, Ryan finds something 17 inches in length that’s just what the doctor ordered.

#3  Carbonite Love Story One our most ambitious skits involving existing audio.  If you listen to us “making out” and enjoy it, you should be listening to Comic Book Queers and NOT us.

#4  Carradine Chronic Insomnia scoops TMZ with exclusive footage of David Carradine’s death in a bangkok hotel room.  Forget the Eisner….give us the Pulitzer!

#5  Conjugal Visit in the Halfway House A tear-jerking (well, something gets jerked) ode to having relations in the halfway house.  And that’s why we love comics!

#6  J-Flow The only sponsor ridiculous enough to want to attach themselves to the world’s most absurd comic book podcast!  I can’t even pitch this one without drawing the attention of the FCC, so just listen and enjoy.

#7  Gunt Shaving Manatee Weight Loss 2009 was a huge deal this year.  Probably rock bottom was this disgusting and unorthodox method of slimming some ounces off the Manatee of Podcasting.

#8  Kennedy Trick-or-Treat Next stop on the Halloween tour was Kennedy’s house.  Take  a spin and learn just how far Quincy will go for a handfull of fun size Butterfingers!

#9  Ryan Pukes Yup.  And we recorded it.  You’re welcome!

#10  The Growler Mild Mannered scientist Dan Arcadian gained the power to disrupt the bowels of any creature when he was bitten by a radioactive grizzly bear.  Thrill to the adventures of The Growler and his totally heterosexual partner Cub!

#11  Harry Trick-or-Treat Harry Caray is always a treat - grab a Budweiser and find out what happens when Ryan & Mike visit Harry’s house for some candy on Halloween!

#12  Love Taco The most romantic thing Quincy has ever written.  Play this for your special lady and watch her melt….out of the room and toward her lawyer.  It’s pretty damn funny to us, though.

#13  Thor in Assgard No, that’s not a typo.  Cory from Dallas introduced us to Assgard, and we’ve got exclusive footage of Thor’s misadventures in this perilous realm!

#14  Hulk visits the Enterprise Even the enthusiastically oral Sulu might be biting off more than he can chew when the Hulk shows up on the Starship Enterprise.  Even I get grossed out by this one, folks, and I helped write and record the bloody thing…

#15  Didio Interview Ryan’s first Eisner nominated interview with DC bigwig Dan Didio.  As usual, I get the dirt that nobody else in the industry can.  And folks, Didio is a dirty, dirty, boy if this in-depth conversation is any indication.

#16  Black Lantern Chronic Insomnia’s spoilerific preview of this year’s biggest blockbuster - can even the combined might of the Green Lantern corp defeat……the Rosy Palm???

#17  Kanye Wests Ruins Our Award You just can’t take Kanye West anywhere!  Will the Chronic Boys put this little D-Bag in chiggity check when he busts up our podcasting award?  And is Remy to blame for this debacle?

#18  Sesame Street Bit It will come as no surprise to many of you about what REALLY goes inside Bert & Ernie’s bedroom…

#19  Christmas Miracle Hoo boy.  What would happen if Trent Reznor and Warren Ellis got together and wrote a Christmas song?  It would sound a lot like this, unfortunately.  This one has more rape than most carols you’re used to….

#20  Damon Interview Ryan interviews the “Lost” geek and finds out he’s a freak and a jackass!

#21  Never Gonna Spit You Out More romance, Chronic style.  Some podcasts get headlining comic creators, but we get heavy hitters like Rick Astley on our show.  We win.

#22  Galactus Hey, John Galactus puts his skyscraper sized boots on one at a time just like the rest of us.  Then he calls the cable company to get his reception fixed and gets hosed….just like the rest of us.

#23  J-Flow Part Two Ernie and Bert help our sponsor demonstrate the mega-wad sack evacuator.  It’s good all around for everyone involved.

#24  Dennis Twought - Smells Like Teen Spirit Only Dennis could work his frustrations with a transvestite into an ode to Kurt Cobain.  Merry Christmas to everyone at The Flamingo Room!

#25  WMD promo As soon as you’re done listening to this, go to wheremonstersdwell.ca and listen to anything on the page, so you can see how these things are SUPPOSED to be done!

We Love The All Of You!  We’ll see you again on the 24th for our annual Christmas Special.

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This week we crank the volume and stretch the dynamics of our microphones.  It’s not that we’re yelling, it’s just one of those weeks when we can’t seem to settle down and be quiet.

Ryan talks about Salvation Army Bell Ringers.  Is Mike still getting thinner or has he just given up and eaten three chickens?  Listen this week as we discuss our friendship with other podcasts.

Next week we aren’t going to have a show, as we are working on our yearly Christmas Special.  That show will not be released until Christmas Eve.  Then we move on to the next weeks show which will be the Year End show which will be released on New Years Eve so you can all listen to it while you celebrate the New Year.

Check out our friends at Where Monsters Dwell and see how a real show is done.  These guys are great and we couldn’t love them anymore without wanting to have their children.

We love the all of you.

The Chronic Crew

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