“Good riddance”, say some, and to that I say “Shut up, world at large!”  But others, a very tiny sliver of really passionate people that anticipate that (semi) weekly dose of Chronic vulgarity, people that I love dearly…they will want to know:

Why?

Truth is, it’s the people that want us to stay the most that make it impossible for me to stay.  Truth is, and this is scientifically demonstrable, the quality and consistency of the show are not there, and the commitment is lacking.

I won’t do this half assed, because I have too much pride in my work and too much respect for my listeners.  I won’t do this half assed because Remy, and Jesse, and Dave Rancor, and Miracle Keith, and Nick, and Glenn, and Other Nick deserve better.  Somewhere out there Elizabeth Scott is waiting to instruct half-assers to get into the toilet.  And you know what?  She should.

Last week’s recording got fumbled again, and it was just general life stuff.  But it happens a lot lately, way too much lately, and it never used to.  Our world’s used to revolve around the show…. and it became clear to me that the show has run its course, and that half-assed is all that’s left in the tank.  Not good enough.  Not by half.

So I’m done, and Quincy agrees with me, and that’s OK.  It’s a strange and wonderful little legacy, this show of ours.  I don’t think the world will miss us much.  We left a smaller cultural footprint than the Baja Men, and that’s fairly horrifying.

On the other hand, I remember Quincy and I with elevated heart rates and girlishly raised voices squealing about how episode # 36 or whatever achieved A WHOLE 12 DOWNLOADS, and HOLY CHRIST, that meant somebody out there was listening that WE DIDN’T KNOW!  As I type this, our latest effort has 382 downloads, many of them from other countries, and many more that listen and don’t download.  It aint exactly Adam Carolla numbers, but when we started this nonsense in 2007, neither Quincy nor I ever envisioned 382 people giving a shit about what we were doing.

Regrets?  I suppose.  A part of me would have liked to continue, to get better, get bigger, and someday be recognized as one of the “leather helmet” pioneers of comics podcasting.  Was that ever possible for us?  I don’t know.  I notoriously used to wonder whether we were the Sex Pistols of Podcasting, or whether we could be The Beatles.

I think in the end we were the Sex Beatles, often compelling as we drenched honesty, energy, and balls in a syrup of childish, rebellious shit.  Never quite great, but the spectacle was usually worth it, and I think the pearl beneath the excrement was tantalizing.  We did some good fuckin’, us Sex Beatles.  (and some really bad fuckin’, too)

I think in the end we did provide a unique, viable product.  The format was essentially what Remy refers to as a “two monkey’s on a davenport” vehicle, and that’s nothing to be proud of.  But love me or hate me, I had a point of few, and I shot straight with no editing and no bullshit.  When you listened to Chronic Insomnia, you got some comics info, fine.  Some of it was even useful, if I’m not too biased to make a declaration.

Apart from that, and better than that, we offered you into our lives and hearts and thoughts, and even my unintentional celibacy, and the status of my physical plumbing.  It wasn’t just:

“Here’s comics!”

Anybody can do that.  For Chronic Insomnia, it was:

“Here’s me, ALL of me, and here’s how we feel about life.”  I don’t see another comics podcast doing that.  Maybe that’s a good thing?  I don’t know.  Me, I’ll miss it.

I’ll miss lots of things.  Doing this show’s blog brought me into brief but memorable contact with Ethan Van Sciver, Dan Slott, Chris Samnee.  For fuck’s sake, I made up some nonsense about marrying the Fantastic Four and Jonathan Hickman “gave away the bride” to me live on Canadian radio!!!!  Are you shitting me???

My review of Morning Glories # 1 made it to a CBR article, my review of Crossed Family Values # 3 made it to a feature article on Bleeding Cool, and when Irish Mike McLarty was pinch hitting for Rich, Bleeding Cool even had a feature on Market Spotlight.  I’ll never forget any of those things.

I never would have had the chance to interview Anthony Del Col, Meagan Marie, or Comic Tube Vikki without the show.  And I never would have met the folks at Where Monsters Dwell.  LOVE the folks at Where Monsters Dwell, now more than ever.  The show has done a lot for me, personally.

And now it’s done.  Quincy has talked about doing a series finale episode to say goodbye, and I think that’s a good idea.  This week I’m headed up to the cabin when we would normally record, (see how life keeps getting in the way?) but that really ought to happen soon.

And after that?  Hmmmm, never say never I suppose.  I’m not retired from thinking, and I’m certainly not done with comics.  We may hear from each other again some day, in some capacity.

But for now, we’re limping to our deaths like a couple of loser fucks.  Somewhere Johnny Rotten is smiling.

- Ryan Lee Always the Manatee, Steve McQueen, or Louden Swain of Podcasting

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia. In this incredible homo-erotic sextacular!

• Marvel pumps up gay wedding in Astonishing X-Men # 50, and other things proving that Goon # 39 has it spot on!
• Speaking of Gaiman, Todd just paid him HOW MUCH???
• “Before Watchmen” poll on CBR provides scientific proof that 56% of comic site respondents are pretentious liars!
• Chronic Reviews: X-O Manowar # 1, Epic Kill # 1, and Earth Two # 1!

“Boys, the show has been so good since your return. Sometimes you don’t know a thing can get better until it gets better…” Pete from Sydney, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode, now 33% more on time!

• Yet even more things that happened to me that didn’t happen to you at C2E2!
• Why AvX is porn without the sex!
• Thoughts on Chris Roberson leaving DC, (or was he escorted out?) and Simon Oliver coming back!
• Valiant Relaunch Preview: We make X-O Manolove to X-O Manowar!

Make sure to check out our Canadian Step-Sister show Where Monsters Dwell and let them know how much we love them. We also have a blog you should read and if you want that, go here. As always, we love the all of you

“Just so you know, I had to delete lesbian twin videos from my phone to make room for your podcast.  That’s how much I like the show.  Keep up the great work.”

- Dreadnaut, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode – Ryan Lee takes Chicago by storm!

• Everything you didn’t want to know about the Chronic Insomnia Experience at
• C2E2….including the “Showdown With Neal Adams”!
• Chronic Review: Resident Alien # 0!

Check out our good friends at Where Monsters Dwell and if you are interested in more Chronic Insomnia we also have a blog you should read.  As always we love the all of you. “I’ve been listening to the show for about 6 months and now it has rocketed to the top of my list.”

Nate H, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode – now with 10% more resurrecting Jesus:

• Why the original Easter Story would have caught more flak on the boards than Chuck Austen!
• Jonathan Hickman hands down the Commandments of Modern Comics!
• Inkstuds! Both barrels!
• Would you believe…the triumphant return of the Canada Report?
• Chronic Reviews: Danger Club # 1, Fanboys Vs. Zombies # 1!

Make sure to check out our good friends and sister show Where Monsters Dwell. Yeah they might be Canadians, but in some ways aren’t we all filthy like those Canadian hockey players?  We also have a kick butt blog that you should check out.  If you have anything you want to tell us please feel free to email us at:  thechroniccrew@gmail.com.  As always we love the all of you.

“It’s not like you two are funny or something.”  - Mark Olson

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredibly late episode:

• Kelly Sue DeConnick to write a Carol Danvers led Captain Marvel book, and other things that lead me to believe that Marvel Man cometh!
• CB Cebulski is awesome!
• Hibbs reports on ComicsPRO meeting, and why the digital age is teaching us we need a bigger direct market!
• Chronic Reviews: Superman # 7, Daredevil # 10!

Don’t forget to check out our good friends at Where Monsters Dwell. Also if you are itching for more Chronic Insomnia, you might want to get it checked out by a doctor, but after that you can go to our blog and get plenty more disease and filth.  As always, we love the all of you.

“It’s better than getting noggin from a horse.” - Anonymous.  Go Figure.

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredibly late episode:

• Sheriff Waid reinvents the webcomic creation wheel, and other stuff I might ask him about at C2E2!
• Man wins art contest with blood-addled urine project, man pretends to be Will Carton for twenty issues of Spawn…who is more deranged??? We decide, you pretend to care!
• Also: Manatee weight (and mind) loss 2012, treating homeless people as inanimate objects for fun and profit, and a rock solid Gomer Pyle impersonation!

Chronic Reviews: Saga # 1, Saucer Country # 1

Check out all of our friends at these locations.  We surely do love them all.  Where Monsters Dwell, Josh Rodgers and of course our fantastic blog.

“I’ve listened to the show a few times, but honestly it’s hard to justify 70 minutes a week of your foul and vulgar language.”  - Uncle Dave

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode:

• AvX accrues more orders than Justice League # 1 and Civil War # 1, plus other portents clearly pointing to our doom!
• Jonathan Hickman ending fantastic voyage in fall – can we get some good news here, please?
• Dead Pooh # 1 hits in March! That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.
• Chronic Reviews: Manhattan Projects # 1, Supurbia # 1, Swamp Thing # 7!

Want to SEE more Chronic Insomnia?  Especially us getting slaughtered!  Check out Slaughter Lake from Josh Rodgers. Order it and Ryan and I will orally satisfy you on the show.  It’s a great comic and laugh out loud funny.  Mike is on the crapper and Ryan dies wonderfully at the end.  Josh also has a website so check that out too.

Don’t forget our good friends from Canada on Where Monsters Dwell. We also have more Chronic Insomnia at our blog…please check it out.  As always we love the all of you.

“The path to enlightenment doesn’t lead to Chronic Insomnia.  Those guys will only screw you out of all your good Karma.” - Mark

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode:

Ryan’s Birthday Special, featuring guest star Metro Mike, and sponsored by Neal Adams Koolaid!

Bryan K Vaughn’s Saga begins with an infant taking it straight from the tap!

Valiant continues to push the marketing envelope with talking X-O Manowar poster, but are they Shooter-ing themselves in the foot?

“Untold Tales of Avengers Vs. X-Men”, starring Wolverine & Cyclops!

How should Marvel respond to DCs resurgence? We decide… you shut up and listen!

Chronic Review: Adventure Time # 1!

Check out all of our good friends here:  Where Monsters Dwell! Captain Mushface and of course there’s always more Chronic Insomnia on our blog.  As always, we love the all of you.

“You Guys are Mindless Twats but I still love you.” - Anonymous.

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode:

A few words about Skyrim – mostly curse words and bile.

Legal shenanigans – everything you wanted to know about Tony Moore Vs. Robert Kirkman but were afraid to ask!

Digital Revolution – Icv2 reports on the growth of digital, and Brian Hibbs pulls some surprising digital data from the ComicsPRO meeting!

Chronic Review: Ted McKeever’s Mondo # 1!

Check out our good friends at Where Monsters Dwell. If you want more Chronic Insomnia make sure to read our blog. As always we love the all of you.

“You two should be arrested for destroying my appetite each week.” - Joey (Bass Player Master)

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this less than incredible episode:

• Ryan’s ode to chicken child genocide, and Mark Berndt outdoes Sandusky with “Salty or Sweet” game!
• Hickman offers infinite Oppenheimer’s in upcoming Manhattan Projects!
• Liefield takes over the New 52, Marvel’s new Spider-Men campaign, and other stories to curdle the blood!
• Nonplayer Update: details on impending second issue, some hope that series could conclude prior to next Halley’s Comet sighting!
• Chronic Review: Thief of Thieves # 1, New Mutants # 37, Secret Avengers # 22!

For more Chronic Insomnia check out our blog.

“You guys really make the night go by faster at work.” - Charlie B. Canadian, Actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two classically trained Vulgarians…One comic book podcast that needs it’s mouth washed out with soap.  You’ve entered the world of Chronic Insomnia; sleep well.

• We didn’t see our stinkin’ shadows, but we’re still gonna give you 6 more weeks of filth.  Now that’s a promise.
• Ryan explains how Ass Acne and working out go hand and hand, which is better than two in the bush…Oh yeah Ryan ain’t seen no bush in a long time.  We all lose!
• Yeah we stayed up too late and the “Piracy Special” fell apart but we’re still here to rock your earlobes and lick your inner folds in this weeks exciting Chronic Insomnia.

“Best comic podcast on the internet, and I listen to a lot of them.”

-Ryan B, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

If your comics podcast is putting you to sleep…time to try some Chronic Insomnia.

In this incredible episode:

“Will your LCS be on the side of The Avengers or X-Men?” , and other questions properly answered with “Who could possibly be arsed?”

Bastion of purity Fox objects to titillating New 52!

Judge Dredd artist Brett Ewins NOT the law, stabs officer. On a Saturday, no less!

John Rozum sounds off on the reasons why he walked off Static Shock!

Siuntres and Bendis advise podcasters to get some journalistic religion!

Chronic Reviews: Deadpool 49.1, Voodoo # 5, TMNT # 6

Previews: Dawn of the Jedi # 0, Alpha Girl # 1, Winter Soldier # 1

Don’t forget to check out our blog. Also make sure to tune into our northern neighbors Where Monsters Dwell if you want to hear a show that is done with integrity and some sense of taste.  We are none of these things.  Thanks for listening and we love the all of you.

“I want you guys to know that each week I am highly entertained and very glad there is a Chronic Insomnia.”

- Jesse Johnson, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two giant jackasses. One absurd comic book podcast

In this incredible episode:

· Chronic Crew infected with nasty virus, country infected with Tebow Fever! Mike tests Ryan with a special Bathroom Noise Identification Quiz!

· Batman adds “Owl” backup and an extra $1.00 per issue, and other items that make us realize that what is new is old again!

· Multi-media news for Hack/Slash, Powers, and Thor 2!

· As pundits continue to sing us a swan song, Diamond adds Chris Powell to the mix!

· Chronic Reviews: Activity # 2, Avengers Academy # 24, Last of the Greats # 4, Green Lantern # 5, Nowehere Man # 1!

· Chronic Previews: Hellblazer # 287, Journey Into Mystery HC Vol 1 hardcover, Prophet # 21!

For more Chronic Insomnia check out our blog here.  We also have great friends and we want to pimp them out so click here for more info on the greatest radio show in the great white north, Where Monsters Dwell.  Now with 300% more syndication.

“You guys are two giant douche bags!”  - Uncle Joe

Two giant jackasses.  One absurd comic book podcast

In this incredible episode:

• Hitch countdown reveals America’s Got Powers!
• Join us as we travel Ryan’s Chocolate Whiz Way!
• John Byrne’s planetary retirement plans, and other evidence our little niche is entirely populated with entertaining nut jobs!
• Marvel takes top spot from DC, but not so sure about that “paying human rates for mutant action figures” business!
• Super Chronic Review:  Fatale # 1!
• Chronic Preview:  Whispers # 1!

“Guys, I’m *%$#@ loving the show.  Keep pumping that good stuff all over each other and into the mircophones.”

-         Pete from Sydney, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two gentile jackasses. One impossibly absurd dreidel spinning podcast.

This week:

· The history of Hannukah, and a last minute gift idea for you ladies that will be a guaranteed hit with your man!

· Mitch Gerads braves the City Slightly North of the One God Forgot in Source Signing!

· DC offers customizable FCBD comic, Marvel offers two issues of Captain America in same week!

· What if Brian Hibbs solved the “Comics Sales Problem” and nobody noticed?

· The Activity # 1, Memorial # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“You never know what’s going to come out of these guy’s mouths, and it’s usually hilarious, vulgar, and awesome!”

- Jimmy Quentin Trapp, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Cody Carey shows us the fate of Ryan’s pillow in this wonderful YouTube video.  If you like laughing this is for you

Check out Chris Hardwick on BBC America, December 24th at 8pm for “The Nerdist: Year In Review”.

Two giant jackasses. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• The return of Valiant Comics, and other items that illustrate the fatal industry error of looking behind instead of forward!
• Mark Millar whispers apocalyptic murmurs, which Ryan relates as steroid infused Scottish shouting!
• JMS inexplicably chimes in on ASM, Wacker whacks back, and then Sherriff Waid lays down the contractually obligated spur janglin’ law!
• The magic of Virginia Tech, and Sam Bradford’s demonic left eye!
• Carnage USA # 1, The Strain # 1, Witchblade # 150, Journey Into Mystery # 632, Star Wars: Agent of the Empire: Iron Eclipse # 1!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“I listen to about 35hrs of podcasts a week at work, and your show is by far my favorite. The other guys in the shop I work at are always curious as to why I am teared up, laughing so hard.”

- Eric Paeltz, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Check out Chris Hardwick on BBC America, December 24th at 8pm for “The Nerdist: Year In Review”.

Two giant jackasses. One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• It’s Coming…who will be sucker enough to be there?
• Digital Revolution, starring Marvel coupons and the Dark Horse two-step!
• Dead or Alive # 1, Irredeemable # 32, Thought Bubble!, Luther Strode #3
• Previews: The Strain #1, Memorial #1, Uncanny X-Force #18

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Michael LaMere and Ryan Carstensen describe their show as “the most absurd comic book podcast,” which might be true but it may also be the funniest.

- James Ninness, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Check out Chris Hardwick on BBC America, December 24th at 8pm for “The Nerdist: Year In Review”.

Two giant jackasses.  One impossibly absurd comic book podcast.

This week:

• Twilight sends heterosexual male to the hospital, and other things that really ought not surprise you!
• Police drop charges against Phoenix Jones!
• Man finds $12,000 comic in attic, and Action # 1 closes at 2.1M!
• Peter David creates Fan/Pro bill of convention rights, sets Mike and Ryan into a blood red battle rage!
• Daredevil # 6, Spider-Man Holiday Special, Shinku # 3!

Always more Chronic available at the blog!

“Love you guys. Its like I finally found the voices in my head, and they were podcasting in the city that god forgot. Gotta thank Where Monsters Dwell for leading me to your site.”

- David James Miller, actual victim of Chronic Insomnia

Two jive turkeys.  One completely absurd Thanksgiving podcast special.

• Booty Pop gone wrong – the incredible story of Oneal Ron Morris!
• Details on DCs deal with Amazon!
• Image braves Oakland in February Expo!
• Bob Layton takes some parting shots at the House of Mouse!
• Ryan and Mike battle head-to-head reading the Batman “Which Way” adventure The Doomsday Prophecy!  Which man leads the Dark Detective to victory?

Always more Chronic available at the blog.

“And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew.  You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, ‘thank you for being a friend’”.  Ryan Lee (not some cheesy 80’s sitcom theme song)